I am struggling with my emotions and feelings as we are given more restrictions and executive orders.

We have an executive order to wear face masks in public, so as I enter the market, I stretch the elastic behind my ears, and cover my nose and mouth. Instantly, I have trouble breathing. I have passed out four times in my life, so I think about how this mask could lead to me fainting in the aisle. I start to sweat, and within moments I am lifting it from my face to gasp for air.

Why is this? I don’t know the answers. I’m not even going to pretend to have an explanation, but I have several theories.

1. The decrease of oxygen and increase of carbon dioxide has a physical affect on my body.
2. The anxiety of wearing the mask and risk of passing out has made it more difficult for me to breathe.
3. I don’t want to wear it because I don’t like being told to wear it. I don’t appreciate the control the government wants over me.

I’m struggling with this because I have not yet gotten an answer on how to proceed. I am praying about it. I am watching several online church services, but I do not yet feel like I have a definitive answer on how to proceed.

• On one hand- there is a virus that has been determined to be highly contagious and can be deadly to our vulnerable populations.
• On the other hand- I put my faith in the Lord. Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you or forsake you.

• On one hand- the doctors and officials say it is to protect others, not myself.
• On the other hand- In many public places, including that market, I wasn’t even around other people.

• On one hand- I wear a seat belt in the car, so why do I hesitate to wear the mask.
• On the other hand- The seat belt has been proven to be a safety measure. The ruling and law about the face mask seems arbitrary. Just 3 weeks ago they advised us NOT to wear it, and they themselves aren’t adhering to the rules.
  

• On one hand- I feel like my constitutional rights are violated as our governor has said we MUST wear masks, the mayor has said citizens should publicly shame people for not wearing one, and we have been threatened with fines and jail time.
• On the other hand- Titus 3:1-2 Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward other people.

But what I was wondering is this . . . What would Jesus do? Would He wear the mask? Would He be happy with the way the government is handling this? Will He be upset with me if I DON’T comply? I don’t know the answers, but I really can’t imagine Him wearing the mask.

Here is the scripture I am going to meditate on:

Colossians 2:6-10

As you have therefore received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, as you have been taught, abounding in it with thanksgiving. Beware lest anyone cheat you through philosophy and empty deceit, according to the tradition of men. According to the basic principles of the world, and not according to Christ. For in Him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily, and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power.

So What am I going to do?

First, I am going to keep trusting God in these circumstances. I know, with 100% certainty, that He will use all of this for His kingdom.

Second, I am going to wear the mask if and when I feel I could be too close to someone. However, if I am alone, or far from others, even in the aisle of a market, I will probably not. My health matters too, and I don’t like how it makes me feel.

And finally, I am going to keep looking into how to react in these circumstances. I will continue to look for ways God is telling me what to do. Right now- though I admit my stance may change with the more I learn- but right now- I question if the messages from God and messages from officials are in perfect alignment. Once churches were closed, overstepping the line of church and state, I grew unnerved. I am, by no means, advising people to stop wearing masks. I cast no judgement nor do I claim to know this to be true or accurate. I am simply trying to process my thoughts and feelings as we navigate these crazy times. I want to honor God, but I am cautious in not letting worldly authorities become false idols, believing and trusting THEM to take care of me.

Matthew 7:15 Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves.

Romans 16:17 I appeal to you brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them.

I hope and pray the people leading this great nation have our best interests in mind as they make decisions, but I already KNOW that God does.

Prayer

Lord, thank you for your continuous presence in these circumstances. Though the days are unknown, I know you will use these times to help us, guide us, train us, and even help us to prosper. Lord, I ask you to show yourself to me with answers to my struggles. Lead me down the path you have designed. While I want to show respect to my authorities and neighbors, I want to represent you. Please use me as a tool as I sort it all out. Give me clarity, and remove the doubts. In Jesus name, Amen.