Quidnesset Baptist Church Archives - Melissa’s Faith Walk

Cracked, But Not Crushed

April 5, 2023April 5, 2023
by Melissa

One Day Alone

It was Sunday. One week and two days after my first round of chemo. I don’t know why I woke up with a chip on my shoulder. I don’t know what made this day different from the ones before it, but for some reason I chose to go about my day alone. Not alone. I was with my husband and visited with my son. But I opted to not take God along.

I didn’t pray. I didn’t read my Bible. I thought about it, but you would have thought that book on my end table was on fire by the way I avoided it. I just didn’t feel like it. So what did I do instead? I cried. I cried on and off all day. I cried over my lack of energy. I cried about the thought of losing my hair. I cried about my unknown future. I cried that I was eating vegetables instead of a fried chicken sandwich from Burger King. And though my day was sprinkled with blessings, they were shadowed by the darkness that had crept in.

Do Over

The next day, I vowed to not repeat the same mistake. I watched an “episode” of Church. Thankfully, Quidnesset Baptist Church has sermons available on YouTube. One wasn’t enough to arm me for the day, so I watched a second. I prayed. I prayed for forgiveness. I prayed for being foolish and going about a day on my own. I praised God for being who He is. I thanked Him for his strength. I thanked Him for his grace. I thanked him for loving me and helping me, even when I am not letting Him in. I cried again. Ugly cry. The kind where I had tears and boogers. But this time it wasn’t because I was sad. This time it was because I was confessing my weakness and humbling myself before the mighty God that created me. And you know what happened? God. That’s what happened. I no sooner said Amen and I was taken over by his presence. I dried my face. I made a “To Do” list, and “adulted” all day, making phone calls and emails that I had been avoiding.

What Does the Bible Say?

It turns out, it wasn’t a chip on my shoulder, but I am a cracked piece of pottery. 2 Corinthians 4:6-10 For God, who said “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.

Paul David Tripp says the following about that passage: “We were created to be fragile, because God wants to accomplish something good through our fragility. He allows us to be cracked so we will finally get the fact that hope and security are never found by what’s in us but only by what’s in him. In order to accomplish this, he has to put us in situations where we can’t make it on the basis of our strength and wisdom but instinctively reach out for help instead. The picture of cracked vessels with treasure shining through the cracks is a picture of being filled. Suffering causes us to really know who we are and who God is and to begin to really celebrate what we’ve been given. God doesn’t always fill your crack but often uses your cracks to fill you up with a sense of his presence, grace, and glory.

Today

I started today the same as yesterday: online church, Bible reading, and prayer. The result? I feel like a million bucks. Is that even a lot anymore? I don’t know, but I feel amazing!

Cancer? What cancer? Today I am not a cancer patient. Today I am a child of God. An Heir to the throne in Heaven. Why did I try to go it alone? I have no idea. But I am thankful God has shown me, once again, that his presence, grace, and glory are more than enough.

Devotions

A Merry Heart Does Good

March 28, 2023March 28, 2023
by Melissa

The Destruction of Complaining

With each dose of medication, it is even more important to get my daily dose from my Bible, God’s precious word. I honestly do no know how anyone can get through a day without the love and grace of my Lord and Savior.

Todays reading originated from chapter 8, Discouragement Trap. in the book Suffering, by Paul David Tripp, gifted to me by Pastor Jim at Quidnessett Baptist Church.

In this chapter, the author explains that discouragement in and of itself, is not a sin. However, what we do with that discouragement 1. sins against God, and 2. makes us suffer more. “When discouragement sets in and becomes the lens through which you see life, when if forms your assumptions about your life, and when it begins to shape your functional theology, you tend to complain.” Paul Tripp continues, “What’s the danger of a lifestyle of complaint? If you believe that God is not only in control of the grand movements of human history, but also in control of the particular details of your life, and if you believe that what is out of your control is under his control, then it is important to understand that there’s no such things as a purely horizontal complaint.”

So What Does This Mean?

If we believe that God is in control, then we can not complain. By complaining, we are in turn saying that God is in the wrong, and that is impossible.

Tripp explains further, “Complaint, because it tends to question God’s goodness, faithfulness, wisdom, and love, assaults your trust in Him…. the way to defeat the dangerous potential of complaint is not by silence but by praise. The more you commit yourself to counting your blessings, the more you will have eyes to see specific blessings in your life.

Scripture

Philippians 2:13-16 For it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure. Do all things without murmuring and disputing that you may become blameless and harmless, children on God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast the word of life, so that I may rejoice in the day of Christ that I have not run in vain or labored in vain.

I Thessalonians 5:16-18 Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

Romans 13:2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God

Prayer

Dear Lord and Heavenly Father. Forgive me of my complaints. I put all my trust in you. I know I am where I am is by your will, and that you will be all that I need to endure. Thank you for being a God that keeps promises, and takes care of each and every detail on my path. I am blessed abundantly. Thank you for a husband that loves me, warms my heating pad every fifteen minutes, and gives me leg massages. Thank you for my two incredible children that facetime me several times a day, just to check in. Thank you for my parents, siblings, extended family and friends that have texted, called, delivered meals, and have given generous care packages. I am grateful for the doctors that reacted rapidly and have prescribed medications to treat this disease. I appreciate the many comforts of home that have made this experience more pleasant: blankets, pillows, slippers, tie waisted pants, a side table to hold my cups, plates and books. Thank you for the water from our tap and the plenty of plant based foods in our fridge and pantry. Thank you for your strength, peace, comfort, and even joy during this trial. You are sufficient for me. In Jesus name, Amen.

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