A Letter To My Daughter

Dear Cassidie,

Today you woke with your new name, Cassidie Nicole Arena.

Yesterday was probably the best day of my life. It was a reminder of Love and the way it works. When I was in my twenties, I fell in love. The real kind of love that makes your heart ache. Not because it is broken, but because it is stretching.

When I married your dad, I thought, “I cannot possibly love this man anymore,” but I was wrong. My heart continued to stretch to the point I think it may explode. Then I found out I was having a baby, and I thought, “I cannot possibly have enough love to give this baby when I am already so in love with my husband.”

I was wrong. My heart grew and grew, and the love I was experiencing was like no other. Then came the news of baby number two, and panic set in. “Oh no,” I thought. “How will I love this baby as much as I love the first?” Not yet realizing how love works, I thought there was a limit, an endpoint, an expiration, where there would be no more love to give.

I was wrong. Yet again my heart multiplied, as did the amount of love it could hold.

And that brings us to yesterday, where you said “I do!” and married Michael. For the weeks and days leading up to the wedding, I felt it again, but this time I had become wise to what was happening. My heart was expanding, and every new bit of space was being filled with love.

Your dad and I could look at each other, without even saying a word, and we would know the other felt it too. And we cried. I had to do some reflecting to figure out why the tears when we felt such joy. Or maybe we were feeling some sorrow over what was lost.

But it wasn’t either of those things. I now know that those tears are the overflow of love that poured into our hearts faster than it could handle. Seeing your dad, remembering our moment at the alter as you and Michael recited yours, and watching the two of you look at each other, witnessing the stretching of your own hearts, was the most incredible sight I have ever been blessed to witness.

And when it comes to love, a ring or a womb make no difference on the heart, because now I have a son-in-law, and I love him as if he were my own.

As I write this, you have been married for 24 hours, and I am adjusting to the new size of my heart. It is full, but still takes my breath away. I have played the day over and over in my mind, and the peace, joy, and contentment have consumed me.

In ten months, we get to do this again. My heart will grow as I gain a daughter-in-law and I get to watch you gain the sister you never had. Just as I think about it, I feel my heart preparing.

I love you so much, and may your heart stretch and fill, for the best is yet to come.