We let go of more than our children when our nest empties.

This Season of My Life

I am in a season of my life with a lot of letting go. I guess all of us go through this as our nest empties. We let go of our kids so they soar, but we are letting go of so much more than that. We are letting go of control, rights, privileges, opportunity, moments, and responsibilities. It’s not just the children, but our way of living.

My life verse is Proverbs 3:5-6. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. It’s one of the few verses i know by memory, and I feel I have done fairly well in putting it into practice when it comes to decision making. What I am faced with now, however, is about my kids. I have to trust that God will watch over them when I am no longer able. This probably seems obvious, but as they live on their own, it is different from when they were younger.

Then versus Now

When they were children I helped them to their paths. I wanted them to make healthy choices? Then I only gave them healthy options to choose from. I wanted them safe? I restricted where they could go and what they could do.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

But what if I didn’t do it well enough. In fact, I am 100% certain I could have done a better job. These are my fears. What if I messed up the most important job God ever gave me, and my shortcomings are the reason my children don’t follow God. What now?

And as I always do in times like this, I return to my favorite piece of scripture. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

So here I am. Letting go, and letting God. Releasing my babies into his care, because I have done all I can do. I have to trust that God will fill the voids I made. I have to trust that He will complete what I left unfinished. I need to let go of my role and responsibilities, and trust that I trained them to follow their Lord. I need to accept that they were designed by Him to be who He wants them to be. I need to recognize that He has plans for them, and nothing they do will surprise him.

Over the past few years I have learned to let go of my kids. We have gotten used to the quiet (and cleaner) house. We have figured out how to fill our time when we no longer have their activities consuming it. Our lives are slower and more mindful. But I still have to work on letting God.

A quote from my book in today’s reading was, “I don’t like the fact that God is working on my character more than he’s working on my comfort. Too often, I have seen the Lord allow pain in my life to get me to change.” It is obvious to me now that I have been trying to hold onto some control, but God is working on my character and wanting me to trust him.

Prayer

Lord, thank you for giving me the job as mother to Cassidie and Zachary. It has been my greatest honor. I have loved them with my entire heart, but I know I have fallen short in training them to follow you. I see where I could have done more, and less, that would have brought them closer to you. Forgive me. Lord, please do not allow my shortcomings to be a fault of their’s. Fill the gaps I left, and continue where I left off. My struggle now is that I can’t see the future. I’m left wondering what they will do with their lives, and I want to control their decisions, yet I know that also shows a lack in my faith. I want, and need, to trust that you’ve got this. I raise them up to You. As hard as it is to imagine, I know You love them even more than I do. If I have not done a good enough job in teaching them to follow you, please call to them louder. If there was some thing I have failed to show them, please use me. May they always know how much they are loved, unconditionally. I pray they thank you for the blessings, turn to you for love, read your word for understanding, and follow your teachings even when society says otherwise. I am letting go, and letting you guide them down the path you have made for them and Lord, help me during this time, to have an unending faith. In Jesus name, amen.